So, I’ve been hearing from a lot of people since I got home that it looked like I’d lost weight. I couldn’t imagine why, because I’d made absolutely no effort this past semester, and everything suggested that I should have gained weight. Especially the way I was eating when I got home. I was 100% sure I’d gained since the end of the semester.
I decided to weigh myself today and found that I was a full 6lbs lighter than the last time I checked. Not to mention I’m on my period, and I usually gain about 5lbs when I’m on it. I also weighed myself at the time of day when I’m usually heaviest (your body tends to fluctuate about 3lbs during the day. That’s why it’s recommended that you weigh yourself at the same time of day if you are tracking your weight).
So that’s about 12lbs that I cannot account for. And I still hold that opinion that I have gained since I got home. That begs the question, exactly how much weight did I lose last semester and why?
Well, I spent quite a bit of my semester being sick. Stomach problems causing me to vomit everything I eat and constant colds probably take an awful toll on one’s body. I’d never spent so much time being sick in my life, I promise you. I figure the stress from the semester decided to take a physical toll as well as a mental one. But even though I come out with that conclusion, no one else seems to think of it. Or at least they don’t think of it as a bad thing.
If I were a small person, I can guarantee that the first thing my family would have done when they noticed I’d lost weight is to buy me some McDonald’s. Especially if they’d known it wasn’t intentional. When I talked to my mom at school, she always asked how my weightloss was coming along. I told her each time that I didn’t bother checking or even minding what I ate. I basically told her that I gave up on loosing weight for the sake of focusing on school. However, when I got home all I heard is that I’ve been “doing well with my weight loss”. I haven’t been trying, shouldn’t that indicate that something is wrong? Sure it has a desirable effect, but it doesn’t mean that it’s good or healthy, does it?
It’s something that would probably be readily picked up on with a naturally small person, but because I’m overweight, it’s completely looked over. It’s upsetting because what else could be looked over in an overweight person, simply because the effect is pleasing to others? Eating disorders are forefront in my mind. Have you ever looked at an overweight person and thought “I wonder if that person suffers from bulimia”. It’s a rare thing, I’m sure. Other issues that could cause a loss of appetite and therefore trigger weightloss, like depression and anxiety disorder, also concern me.
Sometimes I catch myself thinking about the double standards I’ve experienced and I figured I should write them down every once and a while. Sorry if it doesn’t make much sense. I do a lot of thinking when I’m tired. Not to say that my thought process is easy tp follow anyway…